I feel cramped in the womb of God’s imagination
Floating in His liquid love-filled cocoon
And even before I know of my own existence,
I fight to leave the eternal embrace.
When I finally break free,
I expect freedom
But the wide world of sadness envelops me
And I am always searching for Your river of everlasting love
Of late I have been obsessed with this idea of Love
And of resting in it
Feasting on it
Drinking it
Because my thirst feels unquenchable
I want to be carried along, but then
I get sucked down
And as I descend,
I panic because of my terror of drowning.
What if I am lost and fade away?
What if my lungs aspirate this liquid?
So, I hold my breath and try to swim toward the light
Only to realize the light is at the heart of it,
And I am going deeper.
Eventually I cease my striving,
The frantic efforts, and relax, release…
Rest in my demise.
And then I notice that I am breathing,
As if I have grown gills,
As if my lungs were made to breath this Love-water all along
As I open my eyes again
I find the underwater world is renewed,
And there is a vibrant color and shimmering light
To all that surrounds me
I begin to glide and swim exploring this renewed existence.
And I realize that nothing and no one can take me out of this liquid
For it is greater and bigger and deeper and purer
Than I have ever imagined
